So, I have been known to call myself a furry. I figured it made sense at first, but slowly started to realize the definition seems to change depending on the day of the week it is, or who you are asking, or what someone's political views are, or whether one makes passes at someone with glasses... you get the idea.

Here is the basic rundown of what I felt being "furry" was when I first got introduced to the term vs. what I noticed the general consensus seemed to be after some time hanging out on the jolly old internet. None of this is new really, just now I felt like putting it all down somewhere to get it off my chest. I just feel like the whole thing is silly. As if somehow the fact that people now can get together on the internet and talk about something makes it this whole new segment of the populace that's somehow dangerous and wrong. When really, these ideas aren't new or special.

First off, I adore animals. Have since I or anyone that's ever known me can possibly remember. I think I came out of the womb with the critter-heart-ing gene firmly established. I've always had pets and been very interested in and involved with animals.

I loved and still love cartoons, and from childhood on there are a lot of animal characters there with varying degrees and styles of anthropomorphism (from Bugs Bunny who is very human-esque to the mostly mice-like mice in the movie adaptation of the rats of Nihm).

For those reasons and possibly more, it's never seemed weird to me to think of animals as having personalities and souls like we do (in fact, that seemed a no-brainer, since my pets are as human as any of the people I grew up with and heaven knows they treat me better than most humans would). Never seemed the slightest bit weird to draw them in varying degrees of anthropomorphism, something I have done long before I found out about sites like furaffinity... in fact, I've been drawing critters and critter-people and talking critters and whatever since I could hold a pencil. Again, a no-brainer, since a lot of my life was devoted to animals, I'd be more likely to draw them than say, some stupid sports game when I hate sports. 4-H was way cooler. Still is. ^_^

And, I've often drawn myself or others as various animals (possibly an object or two at one point or another). This doesn't seem that weird to me either. I chose my sugar glider character on the basis of common traits that fit with certain parts of my personality (hyperness and love of sugar and fluffy-wuffy cuteyness). And that is not that weird. Look, animals seep into our culture whether we would or no. They're not aliens, we share a planet with them. They're in our language ("hair of the dog" "being catty" "oh, rats!"). Egyptians a bajillion years ago worshipped them and drew "LOL furries!" anthro critter-headed gods on walls. Certain native tribes believed they spoke and respected them the same way they respected another human tribe (which is not to say they weren't eating buffalo or killing other tribes, but they thought of them as the same!). So uh, none of this is new or psychologically shocking. I'd venture to say it's people who don't have the imagination or compassion to think of animals as having feelings or to identify with them that are the minority and probably more damaged in the head than anybody who draws a talking dog. Disney made good money drawing 101 talking dogs, for like, four movies.

Also, being a pet lover exposes one to a certain brand of terminology. We're talking the cutesy baby-talk of the pet world that not only comes willingly out of our mouths but seeps into all aspects of pet culture including products, stores, pet magazines, etc. At first I thought using words like "fursona" was the same thing as those cutey "pet-ified" words and purposefully punny mis-spellings that qualify the animal world (there is indeed a publication called Dogue, people). It didn't seem sinister or deviant, it was silly and totally PG, since I associated it with baby talk and therefore suitable for youngsters. On Dogster, which I frequent, people "bark out loud," and on Catster they talk about their "meowmies and daddies." That kind of thing. Now of course I have to be a lot more careful how I talk because sometimes it really is scary to see the extent to which some furries take it. For example... the word "yiff" needs to not exist except as a joke. And I used to use the word "murr" as an alternative to "purr" but now that's corrupted and I can't anymore... which sux cuz I always thought it was cute. WTH?!

Well, now I'm supposed to rethink all that or be labeled a pervert (no wait, furvert... which is even worse). I see a lot of people who are pretty sure that drawing/looking at anthro animals, animal people, or whatnot is a sign of a deep-seated psychological issue. Probably that you want to have sex with an animal or are a confused and troubled teen who thinks you have the heart of a magical tiger or whatever. Um. Okay, so... I identify deeply with animals, but that doesn't mean I don't fully realize I am a person. You should identify with them too, actually, because well hell, humans are animals. Homo sapiens is a species. We are so un-arguably animals in fact, that we can probably crossbreed with chimps and possibly even produce viable young, though thank gods nobody's tried it yet because... just GUH, there's a such thing as taking scientific curiosity way too fucking far!!! (omg "fucking" far... I made a funny, damn I'm witty). But yeah.

The idea that everyone who likes anthro art, or has a furaffinity account or a fursona or whatever, is a potential animal abusing zoophile really blows my mind in its sheer illogical oddness (and I'm not even the most blatantly logical person in the world, tending to be more left brained than right... so for this to be obvious to me means it should be obvious to a rock). I have never been accused of such, to clarify, but I've seen people who have similar views to mine be called "furry" with a dirty connotation and have such accusations slung at them. That was what made me begin to question things, and ultimately to write this journal. I'm thinking "wait... what?"

My pets are a super-unique relationship in my life that's impossible to replicate with any other human, because it's a bond that's like a cross between a friend, a surrogate child, a guardian angel, and a teacher. Anyone who has had a pet they're close to can vouch for this. How does that equate to wanting to either be them or have sex with them? The thought is completely alien to me. That's like saying because we're close to our families implies we want to sex them up too. Look, Oedipus aside, I'm actually not really into the idea of a threesome with my sister... in fact, I can't think about that idea too long or I'd vomit.

As to the sexual parts of the fandom. Even some of that I can see as normal. Look, humans have some very symbolic minds. We also have some bizarre sexual fantasy. It's just that: fantasy. Did you know you can look at a picture of a person having sex with a werewolf, feel turned on, and NOT be at all into the idea of doing it with a dog? Your mind is using a symbol of feral ferocity, lust, and a hint of danger that has been present since your first exposure to Red Riding Hood. And please don't tell me nobody wants to sex the bad boy, cuz I will laugh at you. And if you bother to ask most people with a tentacle fetish, they'll tell you the fun idea is getting all their happy spots touched at the same time, not getting it on with a squid. I'll tell you right off: I look at furry porn. Why? Couple of reasons. One, if it's good who cares? Two, it's there. I'm already watching person A, and they drew it, and that's so much easier than having to try and find a site where people are drawing human pron (because video and still photo pron don't do much for me... look I'm a girl so a large part of my sexual stimulation is mental which means I need some stuff to be in the imagination, which is why girls like written pr0nz duh). I even tried to draw it (three whole times lol). Once at a request, the other two times because I wanted to see if I could do it (I can't, by the way). I'll admit under torture that animal faces are easier than people faces to draw... probably mostly because I spent childhood drawing animals and not people? Practice practice, yo.

Even the mascot suits don't really bother me. I was a theater kid too, and I can tell you that costumes and pretending temporarily to be something or someone else is fun! Playing pretend rocks, hence the popularity of things like D&D.

Look, I have seen some of the crazy stuff that really does seem to scream "I am a bloody lunatic!" I have experienced how some of these people let furry roleplay or fetishes or whatever engulf their lives (hmmm, not unlike Word of Warcraft, roleplay games, drugs, or other addictions... it's almost as if it's a problem with the person, not the action or idea they're taking to unwholesome extremes!) I'm sure there must be some people out there who don't bathe, talk seriously about sexing up kittens, wear "fursuits" wherever they go that look like the Big Bad Wolf's costume from the Sondheim play Into the Woods (which has a prominent penis on it because of Sondheim's point that the BBW is a blatantly sexual threat bla bla bla), and feel that conventions (never been to one and don't plan to btw) are less about selling art and more about hooking up. I don't, however, feel that they are freaks because they are furries, I think they are freaks because they are freaks and furry is a secondary part of it, a place where their freakdom manifests itself. Michael Vick is a football player.... are all football players violent drug-using dog abusing bloodsport assholes? No. The fact that he likes football and plays it for a living is secondary to the fact that he is an asshole. WOW. Revolutionary idea.


Anyhowz, just a bunch of loosely organized thoughts on the subject, make of it what you will. Prolly tl;dr for the two and a half people who will even see this journal so I'm not too worried about potential backlash from it lol.